Conversations In My Head

So, basically the bathroom has been deemed finished.  The crew is gone.  Drew and I went in last night, after the final coat of sealant had dried to check it out with great trepidation.  Can you say, hot mess?  The toilet doesn't even work.  I think we can all agree that that's a pretty universally unacceptable outcome after TWO AND A HALF MONTHS OF WORK.  It looks like we took a weekend class at Home Depot and slapped it together ourselves.  So, anyways I have been going over this conversation in my head ever since.  It is basically a slight revision of the conversation we had with the owner of the company not too long ago, with the tables turned this time.

Horrible Owner of Company:  "So, we finally got everything finished up for you, when can I expect the payment due?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Well, ya know, when writing checks...what can I say, hiccups are bound to happen..."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I'm sorry, what are you saying?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Well, you see, we started to write the check, but then realized we were plum out of checks."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I see.  So, have you ordered more?  I'm going to need payment as soon as possible."

Disgruntled Me:  "Of course we are doing everything in our power, but you see...when we went to the bank, they too were out of checks.  So, we had to wait for our order to be filled.  Nothing we can do about that, it's out of our control."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "So, the checks will be coming any day now, yes?"

Disgruntled Me:  "You would think, but can you believe that when the checks arrived, they weren't ours.  We thought that they were a match, but it turns out they weren't a match at all."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "What are you telling me, I have to wait longer?  It's been so long already."

Disgruntled Me:  "What can I say, these things happen in the check writing business.  We're just going to have to start over from scratch, and see where it goes from here..."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "How long is that going to take?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Oh, it's hard to put a timeline on these things."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I'm sure you can understand I need a more definitive answer than that."

Disgruntled Me:  "I wish I could give you one.  It's difficult working with banks.  In my experience, they like to delay the process, and then we get blamed for it.  But, I feel certain you will be satisfied when the job is completed."

Horrible Owner of Company:  (can't speak because his head just exploded).

Disgruntled Me:  "I think that went well."

Ooosh, I feel so much better now.  And we now return to your regularly scheduled Wedding posts.