Monday, November 21, 2011

Dear Grammy, Stop Brainwashing My Children

Emmy came up from the basement as I was cooking lunch, with a tote bag full of stuff.  So, I asked her what she was up to.
Oh nothing...just heading off to The Ohio State University.

This is not a normal statement from a 4 year old. 

PS - Sorry 'bout that loss to Penn State.  Bummer.

Friday, November 18, 2011

On Generosity

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Rosa offered me her sock toe fuzzies this morning while I was changing her clothes.
I passed, but thanked her for the offer. 
Miiitter Puddy!  You want my toe fuzzies miitter puddy?
He passed too.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Nothing A Quarter Bag of Pretzel M&M's Won't Cure

Do you know how hard it is to discipline/lecture/redirect someone who, when you tell her "don't walk away, I'm talking to you", her reaction is to put her hands on her hips, lean forward and raise her eyebrows while making her eyes extra big (to feign intent listening)?  Impossible.  And then I get really mad that I have to turn around and walk away to conceal my laughter.  Which really just ruins the whole thing.  And then I'm all distracted and forget what I was saying to her and.....oh.....wait....she knows this. 
I'm losing to a 4 year old.
I think I'm going to place an ad for a part-time disciplinarian who's not easily amused to come take my place as needed.  Like Supernanny, only just to bring the hammer down.

That's her sweet and innocent pose.  Pose.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

"That's a bit aggressive little bunny"

Baking has gotten more and more "interesting" (I'm using this word, though I mean something else) as the girls get older and more independent.  Today we made pumpkin scones for the first time, because that is their favorite treat from Starbucks.  Aside from a triple-grande cappuccino-dry as a bone, obviously.  And well, Starbucks isn't getting any cheaper.  And if we're cutting back expenses there, guess who is more important?  Me.  Yeah.  That's right.  Mama need her fuel.
Emmy has taken on the roll of director of the baking process.  She fancies herself the CEO of operations around here, redirecting Rosa (see post title) and attempting to send her into time out for various infractions. 
I mean who better to organize this chaos than moi?  Step off Martha Stewart.  This is my kitchen.

Nnnnuuummm num num num num num num....cooooooookkkkkiesssss.

*On a separate note, Rosa and I were at the Disney store this morning during preschool and I got some disapproving looks from other parents when I was holding up the "Animal" from The Muppets doll next to Rosa to examine the similarities.

So, today I began a new rule of baking I like to call "Hands up" (It helps if you say it very quickly).  Basically whenever I need to get up to grab an ingredient or step away from the dueling chefs for a moment I call "hands up", and they drop their utensils and keep their hands in the air until I return for monitoring.  In a word...awesome.  This significantly reduced the amount of flour, sugar, etc...that was tossed out of the bowl on purpose by accident, when I have my head turned.  Who would've thought they would actually do this without question?  I did it a few unnecessary times just for fun.  You should try it.  It's a great stress reliever and makes you feel super powerful, which is why I do most things.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Currently Playing On My Video Monitor

Rosa:  Mommy!  Mommy! Mommy!  I'm done napping now (1 minute after I put her down).
           Mommy!  I'm all better now.  I done napping.
           Mommy!  It's not nappy time.  Not my nappy time now.  Mommy?
           I'm happy!  I'm happy now, I done napping!  Mommy!
           Mommy - a monster is coming!  Come get me! 
Emmy: (through the wall) Go to bed Rosa!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

In One Word




Tubby times are happy times.  Also, because Drew is officially in charge of tubby times which means I am officially not in charge.  Also, don't be jealous of our blue tile. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Dear Pop

Happy Birthday to you!!!  Thank you for being our favorite Pop; then, now and always.

We couldn't love you more!  With lots of hugs and smoochies,
Your Grandladies

Monday, November 7, 2011

Just Pretend It's August 26th, Kay?

It's super hot outside, the sun is shining, the flowers are in bloom and my baby girl just turned 2!  Just yesterday, I swear it.  Which was August 25th, remember?  Now then...about my sweet Rosebud...

We started off the day with a Happy Birthday muffin, because hey, you love a muffin and I am way too lazy to bake a cake at 6am.  By the way, 6am is not sleeping in.  I know you think it is with your usual 5am wake up calls.  I will remind you frequently of this period of your life during your teenage years.  Maybe with the help of some cow bells, very loud cow bells. " Gotta get me some more cow bell." (Daddy will think that is funny, you will not get the reference).

Daddy had to go to work on your birthday (lame, I know), so we opened some smaller gifts to entertain you until the party could begin.  You are pretty easily entertained and entertaining really.  Grammy likes to call you "passionate" when you have temper tantrums (which is often).  I like to call you other things, but we won't get into that here.

When Daddy got home, we had a special "Rosa dinner", which consisted of all your favorite foods.  Let's take a look at that cuisine, shall we?  Pesto pasta, turkey kielbasa, guacamole, strawberries and warm rustic bread with olive oil and sea salt.  Maybe each item represents a fraction of your personality?  Salty, sweet, etc... You are all colors of the rainbow.

Our little party was simple and sweet as we were having a bigger celebration on the weekend.  The basement was finished just in time and you love it!  You spend equal time rolling around on the new carpet and "carving" images into it with your faux kitchen knife.  You are a complex child.
You got some great new toys, which big sis helped you unwrap.  As soon as you got one thing unwrapped you would toss it aside and move immediately to the next.  It's best to survey all of your options.  I get that.

Dessert!  You love anything chocolate, just like Daddy and Emmy.  If you don't like something, it is pushed aside with a very dramatic "Yyyyut!"  (you pronounce c's and k's as t's, and it's crazy cute).  I'm thinking you know you are adorable and use that to control people's minds.  It's very hard to resist a request for "chotlate? (eyebrows raised, head tilted)".

We danced it out before bedtime, because we love to dance in this house!  You have made up your own dance move that we like to call "Sweep the Floor".  In a word...awesome.

Grammy and Grampy joined us for your party on the weekend.  We dressed you up fancy because we do a lot of pretending in this house too.  You got more presents!  Can you believe it?  You "ooh" and "ahhh" at everything with the most exaggerated mouth maneuverings.  I don't know where that comes from.  Steven Tyler?

You scored some awesome gifts, but totally failed to send any thank you cards.  How rude.  Blame it on a busy summer.  I'll insist you do better next year.  I mean this might start to reflect poorly on me.

It had rained a bit earlier, so we went outside to splash in puddles.  This is a favorite activity of yours.  Others include but are not limited to:  strollering your babies around the neighborhood, swinging at the playground, shoveling sand into your diaper playing in the sand, stirring whatever we are baking,  playing hide-n-seek, kicking me in the abdomen when I'm trying to change your diaper, pretending to be a dinosaur, eating candy, playing "night night", embarrassing me in public places, and playing with your big sister - most of the time.

You went outside for a walk with Grammy while Daddy and Grampy were putting the finishing touches on your last present.  You decided it was more fun to throw grass clippings at Grammy instead.  You are a combination of your Pop and your Grammy.  In aesthetics and level of mischief.  We often call you "Lil Bill".  We also call you:  Rosebud, Roo, Rosaboo, Rosaroo, Rosarito, and when you are in trouble Emmy calls you "Rosalind Everett!". 

You are in the drivers' seat in more ways than one my little friend.

And a final dessert was had in celebration of you and the 2 years you have rocked our world!  You have entered the 2's in full force, and I expect that one day many many people will answer to you, as they do right now.
Happy Birthday Rosaroo!  You are loved more completely than you could ever know.

Friday, November 4, 2011


I own 2 snuggies.  I did not get them from an infomercial. 
We rock Friday hardcore.  That's right.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Fiesta Puyesta

There was some popular song back in 2001, when Drew and I were in Germany (so young and naive, I actually asked my boss if I could have a 3 month "leave" to go to Europe with my bf.  Really?  Who did I think I was?  It totally worked, though, score!) that had the words Fiesta Fiesta, but Drew insisted INSISTED that they were saying Fiesta Puyesta so emphatically that it became this "thing" that we (he) said all the time.  These things can happen when living abroad and only having 1 person that you can speak with on any intelligent level.

 This is not a story of our intellectual conversations though.  It is actually not even a story about our trip to Germany, though that would be interesting.  Possibly more interesting than this story, which isn't really a story at all but just an announcement that I feel I have just ran a marathon.  Why, you ask?  Because I am finally done with the Fall Teachers Appreciation Luncheon Mexican Fiesta!  Ole! (I'm too tired to bother with the accent).  Have I accomplished more difficult things in my life?  Eh.  Maybe.  Am I being a bit melodramatic?  Yep.  I find it much more fun then being "calm" or "rational" - whatevs Drew.  Sanity is totally overrated.

**As I type this, Emmy is supposed to be in quiet time out here in the family room on the cuddler chair.  (quiet time = no talking, brain rest).  She is doing everything in her power to make constant noise without actually "talking".  Right now she's been making the tick-toc noise with her tongue for the last several minutes.  I'm kind of curious how long she can do that.

Anyways, my brain is so fried from this Fiesta, that I have made no less than 457 typos in this blog post.  Really.  Okay, not really.  457 is just my go to number, as in "Emmy, I have told you 457 times not to remove any items from the hutch!".  It just comes out.  Maybe those numbers have some subconscious meaning to me.  Let's not delve into that now.  Where was I?

Oh yeah, so this luncheon actually went amazingly well, and the teachers all raved about it.  Yay!  Despite the fact that the director of the school failed to mention to the construction crew (major church renovations going on) that we were having a party upstairs.  Long story short (my irony is your friend)  we had to lead all of the teachers through a convoluted pathway through the "prep" kitchen and I can only assume piles of asbestos to get to their Fiesta. 


** She broke me.  I tried valiantly to ignore her, but she finally got me to laugh whilst blowing kisses loudly to me for about 5 minutes.  I can only take so much.

So, the Fiesta Puyesta is over. All's well that ends well, right?  You are probably wondering why I have inserted a bunch of random Halloween photos into this unrelated story.  Right? 
Well, that's because...

There. Are. No. Words.

ps - If you are wondering, Drew and I went as "Dinner and a Movie".  And yes, everyone thought Drew looked cute and that I was just a wino carrying around my dinner while the kids trick-or-treated.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Girl Talk

Outside this afternoon:
Emmy: Umm, Mom, did you see that the plant over there with the pink flowers is broken?
Me:  Oh no, I wonder what happened?
Emmy:  Well, nobody ran across it and broke it or anything.  I think it just broke by itself.

At the park while Emmy was pushing her in the swings:
Rosa:  Look Mommy!  My sister is pushing me, my sister!!!

After spilling Drew's water on the floor:
Me:  Just sit up here on the couch and be good for a minute.
Rosa:  No!  I NOT want to be good!