Once Upon A Time I Attended A House Party That Had Valet...

...And it was then that I knew, I was fancy.  Or rather, that I was related to fancy.  And that's good enough for me.
Because the normal me is the one that realized on Rehearsal Eve, that I had no ribbons (cause there were only gift bags at the non-shower bachelorette party) to make the traditional Rehearsal bouquet.  So we had to haul ourselves to the nearest, and might I say a tad unsavory, Kroger (complete with police detail) to grab a bouquet of flowers and tie them together with a random ribbon I had in my bag on the way to the Rehearsal.  Classy.  We also, in true non-fancy fashion, got lost and drove around several lovely buildings and alley-ways in downtown Columbus before we finally located the museum. 
No worries though, it all went smashingly...see?

A little touch of Reservoir Dogs, non?

The ladies actually made it down the aisle, and I breathed a sweet sigh of relief.

Rosa found that Dominique's beautiful dress was perfectly suited to shining up the tin of Altoids that I had bribed her with.  Yes, she likes to be minty fresh at all times, so what?

My favorite part of the Rehearsal was Mike pretending to have to spit-coat the pretend ring to get it on Angie's finger.  How could you not want this guy in your family?

They Did! I just love the mischievous expression on Angie's face, like "Hah! We totally just pulled that off!"

To Be Continued...
Ha!  You totally thought I was going to include pictures of the dinner party didn'tcha?  Suckers.

Conversations In My Head

So, basically the bathroom has been deemed finished.  The crew is gone.  Drew and I went in last night, after the final coat of sealant had dried to check it out with great trepidation.  Can you say, hot mess?  The toilet doesn't even work.  I think we can all agree that that's a pretty universally unacceptable outcome after TWO AND A HALF MONTHS OF WORK.  It looks like we took a weekend class at Home Depot and slapped it together ourselves.  So, anyways I have been going over this conversation in my head ever since.  It is basically a slight revision of the conversation we had with the owner of the company not too long ago, with the tables turned this time.

Horrible Owner of Company:  "So, we finally got everything finished up for you, when can I expect the payment due?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Well, ya know, when writing checks...what can I say, hiccups are bound to happen..."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I'm sorry, what are you saying?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Well, you see, we started to write the check, but then realized we were plum out of checks."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I see.  So, have you ordered more?  I'm going to need payment as soon as possible."

Disgruntled Me:  "Of course we are doing everything in our power, but you see...when we went to the bank, they too were out of checks.  So, we had to wait for our order to be filled.  Nothing we can do about that, it's out of our control."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "So, the checks will be coming any day now, yes?"

Disgruntled Me:  "You would think, but can you believe that when the checks arrived, they weren't ours.  We thought that they were a match, but it turns out they weren't a match at all."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "What are you telling me, I have to wait longer?  It's been so long already."

Disgruntled Me:  "What can I say, these things happen in the check writing business.  We're just going to have to start over from scratch, and see where it goes from here..."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "How long is that going to take?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Oh, it's hard to put a timeline on these things."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I'm sure you can understand I need a more definitive answer than that."

Disgruntled Me:  "I wish I could give you one.  It's difficult working with banks.  In my experience, they like to delay the process, and then we get blamed for it.  But, I feel certain you will be satisfied when the job is completed."

Horrible Owner of Company:  (can't speak because his head just exploded).

Disgruntled Me:  "I think that went well."

Ooosh, I feel so much better now.  And we now return to your regularly scheduled Wedding posts.

Kardashians Shmardashians

I'll tell ya what...the Kardashians ain't got nothin' on the Mahaffey's.  Sadly, I don't have any photos of the actual wedding.  Which seriously, SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! was ridiculous.  In the best way.  I felt my camera was a tad indiscreet, and wouldn't pass as a clutch.  So, I will anxiously await the sure to be amazing photos from the "real" photographer. 
I will tell you what I thought summed up the fantasticness (I know that's not a word) of this event.  It would be my FIL saying to Drew and I, "I'm sure glad you guys got married first".  I believe the bar has been set a touch out of reach.  At least a football field's worth.  Ahhahaaahhha.  You'd have to know the Bride and Groom.  Jealous?

You can already see how beautiful the light in the room was.  I believe it to be emanating from the Bride and Groom.  And that was just the rehearsal baby!



I have so many pictures and so much to discuss.  I'm not really sure where to begin...I'm also not entirely sure where the Bride and Groom are as I type this, as the honeymoon destination has been closely guarded by the special ops team that lives under Mike's "command center".  I've already said too much.

I will say one more thing...

  Have you ever seen a more beautiful Bride?

TO BE CONTINUED.

I almost had to hog-tie Rosa today...

...to get her diaper changed.  And this was well after the point at which it needed to be changed.  Why would you want to keep that affixed to your person?  I'm pretty sure that when she is really angry, she is physically stronger than me.  I just thought you should know.  If she is less than powder-fresh the next time you see her, it's because I have surrendered.

I mean,
would you want to mess with that?

Literal Translations

Emmy has this little game she likes to play (which I think is somehow derived from playing with Grammy).  It goes like this:  She asks you what you would like for pretend breakfast, and then whatever you say, she tells you Oh I'm sorry we're all out of (that ingredient). 
This morning our skit went like this:
E:  Good morning Mommy, what would you like for pretend breakfast today?
Me: Hmm...I think cereal sounds pretty good.
E:  Oh, I'm sorry we're all out of milk.
Me:  Oh, okay.  I guess I could go for a bagel with cream cheese.
E:  Oh, I'm sorry we just ran out of cream cheese.  What else can I get for you?
Me:  Bummer.  Well, I suppose I could eat some French Toast.
E:  Oh, that's too bad Mommy, we're all out of French.
Me:  Oh mon dieu!

Pardon???

"Give that kid a good meal and she turns into a glitter-bunny"

That would be a Drew quote after dinner tonight, as Rosa gleefully jumped up and down on the sofa.  I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.  I do concur though, that given a meal she enjoys and eats well, that kid gets down right giddy.  Tonight, it was all about the green beans.  "Minuh beans!"

I don't know what she's eating in this photo, but it sure doesn't look natural.
ps - Don't blame me on that crazytown outfit.  We encourage artistic self-expression in this house.

On Self-Soothing

A giant glass of red and an episode of Flipping Out is what I have in mind.  Oh, Jeff Lewis, how you do improve my mood with your charming crazy.  How do you self-soothe?



The girls have been really into playing "baby" lately.  They like to be swaddled and then (by Drew) swung around the room.  Which, I guess is more like playing "baby goes to the amusement park", but you get the idea. 
Perhaps they have been overhearing my conversations with the contractors, and have decided it best to regress back into the infant stage so as to avoid these kinds of problems forever.  I would like to do that too.  Especially after this afternoon's little tidbit.  It went something like this:
Contractor dude - Look, I've gotta be honest with you...I fed you a line earlier.  Here's what really happened...it's been bothering me all night...I don't know what to do...
Yep.  Love a conversation that starts with a confession. 

I may pull the comforter off our bed and try this later.

What Happens in Columbus...

It's almost here!!!  Woo hoo!!!  In honor of the impending nuptials, us bridesmaids threw our Lady a little soiree.  Not a shower, by no means was anything showered upon our Bride.  Just so you know.
I will honor this occasion with a little photo story, sans words, because, like the title goes...

And might I give the Groom to be, super props for dealing with a slight intrusion at the end of the night/morning.

Yippee!!! Can't wait for the 20th!