Can I get a HALLELUJAH?!!!?

Oh my.  My sweet little Emmy, who I just birthed I don't know, a few minutes ago, is off to preschool!  Holy smokes, how time flies by.  We have been anxiously awaiting this moment for a while now.  Ever since I started researching every preschool in the greater Cincinnati area like a maniac.  I am nothing if not properly informed.  And I don't mean anxiously in the can't wait to unload her crazy on someone else for a while kind of way.  Well, maybe every once a while.  More in the TERRIFIED OH SWEET LORD LET THIS GO REASONABLY WELL AND LET NOBODY COME AWAY EMOTIONALLY SCARRED FOR LIFE kind of way.  As you may know, our Big E is on the shy side.  And I have certainly not excelled in getting her properly socialized.  We did try a tumbling class earlier in the summer as a sort of litmus test to see how things might go at school.  Yikes.  Needless to say, I did not have high hopes of making it through the day with my sanity intact.  But my big girl is always full of surprises.

We all excitedly got ready together, trying to leave as much time as possible in case of various emergencies/melt downs.  She got all fancied up like a champ.  I'm kind of obsessed with this outfit.  I want one.

Backpack on and ready to go baby!  Because I'm a cynic, I was half afraid to look directly at the smile for fear it would immediately turn to tears of refusal, or burn my retinas like an eclipse you're only supposed to look at through that tiny hole poked through the middle of a paper plate. 

Out the door and still rockin'.  It's important to get your dance on before any major events.  It gets the nervous out.  And hey, it just looks good.

Are you loving that backpack?  So awesome.  It lets Googa go to school with her.  Googa makes everything better.  Googa's my hero.

And one more time, break it down!

She looks like such a big girl in this photo.  It's hard to take it all in.

I know you think this has been a lot of pictures.  If only you knew how many I narrowed it down from.  Appreciate.

Ah, yes...that's the face I was expecting.  Still holding strong though.  Trying to say cheese, though clearly the nerves have hit.  Welcome to Herry's Helpers!  A classroom of 16, 4 year olds taught by Miss Eileen, a masters level teacher and grandmother, with an assist from Miss Judy.  They rock.   They are angels.
That's Emmy's classmate Carly in the background with the pink bow.  Her Mom always comes to school with a fresh blowout.   Does that make me not like her?  Only a tiny bit. 

I don't know why I didn't bring my camera for pick up.  Perhaps because I was scared she would greet me in tears under a table somewhere.  That's actually a true story the secretary told me about some other kid.  Yes, I called the secretary about an hour after drop off to have her go spy and report back on the battle conditions.  Why yes, thank you, that is a long time to hold out.  I thought so too.  Especially considering my favorite Mom from class waited only 10 minutes before making her spy call. 
I held it together pretty well as I was pretty much ushered out of the classroom trying to get my goodbye hugs.  It's really better if you just go.  Miss Judy did the ushering.  Rosa spent the entire 2.5 hours asking where Emmy be?  where she go?  Emmy not here?  I want see Emmy!!!  So sweet, and a little heartbreaking.  Rosa has really appreciated the first ever alone time with Mama.  Her tantrums during our time together were non-existent.  Which is, well, quite a nice change of pace. 
Are you just dying to know how it went?  Well, the secretary reported back that she was attentively listening during "circle time" and there were no tears to be seen.  INSERT GREAT SIGH OF RELIEF.  When we picked her up she was all smiles and immediately ran out to the playground and had a race around the track with her classmate Christian, a giant almost-five-year old boy, who cheats when he runs, by the way.  For a moment I thought perhaps I have picked up the wrong child.  I have never seen her play with any kid outside of family.  CUE GOSPEL CHOIR.
As we drove home I asked her how school went.  Her reply:  School was so much fun, I want to go EVERY day!!!  Can I get an AMEN?

giant camera flash + dim lighting = not subtle

But then, subtle is overrated, I think.  However, if you are trying to get some candid shots of a fabulous rehearsal dinner, I would go ahead and recommend using a camera phone or small digital pocket camera so as to not unnerve the guests who keep turning around with a "what the..." look on their face when your giant triple flash goes off.  Or, you could do what I did and quickly hand the camera over to your almost-four-year-old and then make a face right back like "dude, I know...so annoying.  (shoulder shrug) kids..." 

Oh hello there, fellow.  Carry on...

I dunno who let the party crashers in, but seriously, someone should've cut them off.

Hiya Parker!  Please note how fantastic the kitchen looks, non?  It was just redone.  Just that day.  In fact, if you look closely you can see the shadow of a well-dressed carpenter repelling from the ceiling, Mission Impossible style, to pick up an errant screwdriver.  That's how fancy people roll ya know.

I'm just gonna say it.  I don't know who any of these people are.  No offense lovely foursome pictured, it's just hard to be social when you have two short people to attend to. 

I do however believe that cute little girl in the front is from Sweden, or Switzerland.  Generally somewhere that blonde folk prevail.  She's working the look, right?

Almost a good shot.  Ahem, E I'm talkin' to you.

Oh, Mr. M, how I enjoyed your charming 2 page full format toast.  Love it.  Everybody did actually.

What started out as slight trepidation on the toastee's (if that's not a word it so should be) faces...

turned into a comforted enjoyment...

(yeah, you caught me Aunt Bonnie.  Darn that flash.)

Cute moment where Mike's Dad found Mike's Mom.  As noted in the notes.

Salud!!!

And they lived happily ever after...

Oh wait, yeah, the whole wedding thing.  Yeah, that's coming soon.

Once Upon A Time I Attended A House Party That Had Valet...

...And it was then that I knew, I was fancy.  Or rather, that I was related to fancy.  And that's good enough for me.
Because the normal me is the one that realized on Rehearsal Eve, that I had no ribbons (cause there were only gift bags at the non-shower bachelorette party) to make the traditional Rehearsal bouquet.  So we had to haul ourselves to the nearest, and might I say a tad unsavory, Kroger (complete with police detail) to grab a bouquet of flowers and tie them together with a random ribbon I had in my bag on the way to the Rehearsal.  Classy.  We also, in true non-fancy fashion, got lost and drove around several lovely buildings and alley-ways in downtown Columbus before we finally located the museum. 
No worries though, it all went smashingly...see?

A little touch of Reservoir Dogs, non?

The ladies actually made it down the aisle, and I breathed a sweet sigh of relief.

Rosa found that Dominique's beautiful dress was perfectly suited to shining up the tin of Altoids that I had bribed her with.  Yes, she likes to be minty fresh at all times, so what?

My favorite part of the Rehearsal was Mike pretending to have to spit-coat the pretend ring to get it on Angie's finger.  How could you not want this guy in your family?

They Did! I just love the mischievous expression on Angie's face, like "Hah! We totally just pulled that off!"

To Be Continued...
Ha!  You totally thought I was going to include pictures of the dinner party didn'tcha?  Suckers.

Conversations In My Head

So, basically the bathroom has been deemed finished.  The crew is gone.  Drew and I went in last night, after the final coat of sealant had dried to check it out with great trepidation.  Can you say, hot mess?  The toilet doesn't even work.  I think we can all agree that that's a pretty universally unacceptable outcome after TWO AND A HALF MONTHS OF WORK.  It looks like we took a weekend class at Home Depot and slapped it together ourselves.  So, anyways I have been going over this conversation in my head ever since.  It is basically a slight revision of the conversation we had with the owner of the company not too long ago, with the tables turned this time.

Horrible Owner of Company:  "So, we finally got everything finished up for you, when can I expect the payment due?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Well, ya know, when writing checks...what can I say, hiccups are bound to happen..."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I'm sorry, what are you saying?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Well, you see, we started to write the check, but then realized we were plum out of checks."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I see.  So, have you ordered more?  I'm going to need payment as soon as possible."

Disgruntled Me:  "Of course we are doing everything in our power, but you see...when we went to the bank, they too were out of checks.  So, we had to wait for our order to be filled.  Nothing we can do about that, it's out of our control."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "So, the checks will be coming any day now, yes?"

Disgruntled Me:  "You would think, but can you believe that when the checks arrived, they weren't ours.  We thought that they were a match, but it turns out they weren't a match at all."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "What are you telling me, I have to wait longer?  It's been so long already."

Disgruntled Me:  "What can I say, these things happen in the check writing business.  We're just going to have to start over from scratch, and see where it goes from here..."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "How long is that going to take?"

Disgruntled Me:  "Oh, it's hard to put a timeline on these things."

Horrible Owner of Company:  "I'm sure you can understand I need a more definitive answer than that."

Disgruntled Me:  "I wish I could give you one.  It's difficult working with banks.  In my experience, they like to delay the process, and then we get blamed for it.  But, I feel certain you will be satisfied when the job is completed."

Horrible Owner of Company:  (can't speak because his head just exploded).

Disgruntled Me:  "I think that went well."

Ooosh, I feel so much better now.  And we now return to your regularly scheduled Wedding posts.

Kardashians Shmardashians

I'll tell ya what...the Kardashians ain't got nothin' on the Mahaffey's.  Sadly, I don't have any photos of the actual wedding.  Which seriously, SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! was ridiculous.  In the best way.  I felt my camera was a tad indiscreet, and wouldn't pass as a clutch.  So, I will anxiously await the sure to be amazing photos from the "real" photographer. 
I will tell you what I thought summed up the fantasticness (I know that's not a word) of this event.  It would be my FIL saying to Drew and I, "I'm sure glad you guys got married first".  I believe the bar has been set a touch out of reach.  At least a football field's worth.  Ahhahaaahhha.  You'd have to know the Bride and Groom.  Jealous?

You can already see how beautiful the light in the room was.  I believe it to be emanating from the Bride and Groom.  And that was just the rehearsal baby!



I have so many pictures and so much to discuss.  I'm not really sure where to begin...I'm also not entirely sure where the Bride and Groom are as I type this, as the honeymoon destination has been closely guarded by the special ops team that lives under Mike's "command center".  I've already said too much.

I will say one more thing...

  Have you ever seen a more beautiful Bride?

TO BE CONTINUED.

I almost had to hog-tie Rosa today...

...to get her diaper changed.  And this was well after the point at which it needed to be changed.  Why would you want to keep that affixed to your person?  I'm pretty sure that when she is really angry, she is physically stronger than me.  I just thought you should know.  If she is less than powder-fresh the next time you see her, it's because I have surrendered.

I mean,
would you want to mess with that?

Literal Translations

Emmy has this little game she likes to play (which I think is somehow derived from playing with Grammy).  It goes like this:  She asks you what you would like for pretend breakfast, and then whatever you say, she tells you Oh I'm sorry we're all out of (that ingredient). 
This morning our skit went like this:
E:  Good morning Mommy, what would you like for pretend breakfast today?
Me: Hmm...I think cereal sounds pretty good.
E:  Oh, I'm sorry we're all out of milk.
Me:  Oh, okay.  I guess I could go for a bagel with cream cheese.
E:  Oh, I'm sorry we just ran out of cream cheese.  What else can I get for you?
Me:  Bummer.  Well, I suppose I could eat some French Toast.
E:  Oh, that's too bad Mommy, we're all out of French.
Me:  Oh mon dieu!

Pardon???